Ahhhh the dreaded question, “What can I do to help?" I have recently sat with a friend who said, "if I knew what I needed I wouldn't be in this funk!" She was able to express what she did need, and that was for someone to listen. She did not need someone to try to fix it or make it better. When it comes to depression, I have been guilty of being over saved. I had no idea what empathy looked like. Thus, my story begins of a journey to learn empathy, and what real support looks like.
My best friend went through a battle with depression and the darkest times spanned 3 years of her life. The first year I have to admit, she wandered in it alone as far as having understanding humans around. I very quickly learned my idea of support was very harmful. Does this sound familiar?
There have been many events that have derailed me in my timeline. There have been moments of deep hurt, betrayal, manipulative and destructive 'prophetic words', abuse by spiritual authority and the list goes on...
It has taken me many years of searching and seeking the Lord for healing to get to this place that I am today. A place where I am still sorting through fragmented memories, trying to make sense of my story. Realizing that there are so many "Monsters" attached to the woundings of my heart and that in a way I have nurtured those "Monsters" and consoled them at times, believing that they were the only safe place to run to.
Depression…I have battled this monster all my life. I am on a mission to help others who find themselves in its horrible grip and to bring them hope. I truly believe depression is NOT something you just have to live with.
There was a time in my life where I was a workaholic, a chronic worrier, a self-hater, a rescuer of others, a yes person, a perfectionist, one without boundaries and so, so afraid of changing any of this. Even if I was brave enough to attempt to change these things, I had no clue where to start. Eventually, the noise in my head got so loud and congested; I got to a place where I became incapacitated. Suicidal thinking, cutting, sleeping all day and huge bouts of insomnia at night all came knocking at my door and it had a huge suitcase with it. It was coming for an extended stay like never before.
Pages from our journals of life...
These are little glimpses into the stories of the j2i Team & guest. We believe that as we share deeper levels of healing are birthed not only in our hearts but in the hearts of others as well. As you read and find yourself relating to the letters that create our timelines, please comment, message an author, or register for a class.