The origin of this story isn't very romantic -- at least not in the traditional sense. St. Valentine was a Roman Priest at a time when there was an emperor named Claudius.
Claudius persecuted the church and also had an edict that prohibited the marriage of young people. He thought unmarried soldiers fought better than married soldiers, because married soldiers might be afraid of what would happen to their wives or families if they died.
Note: Julian Rocha is a speaker at our j2i Events. To schedule him to speak or for information about our upcoming events visit our j2i Events page.
I just spent the last year and a half in college. College is something I would recommend to the adventure seeker. College is for one who is not afraid to expose themselves on a deeper level than skin and face. Of course, I believe it depends on the college you attend. My college was The King’s University. I highly recommend such a brilliant learning experience, but be warned you will walk away with much more than good grades and a higher education.
One of my psychology courses required me to do a weekly process paper. In this process paper, we would verbally vomit on paper through text and story. You name it and it was fair game. Oh, how I LOVE TO PROCESS! I found myself week after week purging my fears and doubts onto paper in Turabian format.
“Casting all your anxieties on him,
First, let me apologize if you have ever heard the words “Get Over It” when what was needed was understanding. Often times we get caught up in the way things were. We relate from a familiar area and project our past onto people’s present and future.
My son recently sat with me and wanted to talk about some things I had said in the past that stuck with him. He started out by recalling me saying, "you will not know how to fully receive or give love until you first love yourself.” I thought ok good. He continued by remembering a time where he had expressed some anxiety about something to which I responded,” Calvary you just need to get over it”. My heart sank in that moment.
I AM ENOUGH…but I grew up thinking otherwise. All because of someone else’s insecurity. I believed a lie. It felt so real, so tangible, but it was just smoke and mirrors.
I was in third grade and attending a Christian school. My parents were going through a divorce. My world felt a little shaky. The enemy saw a little girl who was ripe for the picking. I had just recently talked my Mom into letting me wear pantyhose. I was allowed to wear nude, but not suntan. Suntan would make me look too old. I remember walking up to the front porch of the school where a guy was hanging with some of his teenage friends.
He asked me, “What is that on your legs?”
I responded very sheepishly, “Pantyhose.”
He said, “What size are they? Q for queen?!” while laughing with his friends.
I remember turning around and walking away. I distinctively remember seeing the ground as I walked. At that moment, I decided that anything I do and wear will be critiqued. That everything was open for judgment. Nothing would go unnoticed. I was something to laugh at. I was weird. I was abnormal. I was less than.
"Failure is an education, not a judgement." - Donald Miller
These words spoke loudly to me when they came across my Facebook news feed. Later on I went to dinner with a friend who was talking about facing something she was afraid of and nonchalantly said, "If it isn't perfect, the world isn't going to stop spinning." Or something to that effect.
So how do you change something...ask God to heal something...that seems normal to you? Something you didn't know needed to be fixed? You don't. Instead of going after the wounds and lies that got me into this mess and that was making my condition worse, I went after myself and told myself...be stronger, be braver, try harder, work harder, do more, be more.
I tried doing everything I could think of, to fix myself, in my own strength. But, the truth is I am not strong enough nor smart enough nor capable enough to fix me. I can't heal myself from wounds from my past. I can't adopt a healthy way of looking at things by my own doing. How can a broken person fix a broken person? It doesn't work that way.
There have been many events that have derailed me in my timeline. There have been moments of deep hurt, betrayal, manipulative and destructive 'prophetic words', abuse by spiritual authority and the list goes on...
It has taken me many years of searching and seeking the Lord for healing to get to this place that I am today. A place where I am still sorting through fragmented memories, trying to make sense of my story. Realizing that there are so many "Monsters" attached to the woundings of my heart and that in a way I have nurtured those "Monsters" and consoled them at times, believing that they were the only safe place to run to.
Pages from our journals of life...
These are little glimpses into the stories of the j2i Team & guest. We believe that as we share deeper levels of healing are birthed not only in our hearts but in the hearts of others as well. As you read and find yourself relating to the letters that create our timelines, please comment, message an author, or register for a class.